Joint Personal Log | Kassi Denterius & Patrick Harper | "Love, the glue that binds the heart"

Posted on 241411.17 @ 5:11am by Rear Admiral Kassandra Harper & General Richard Sharpe

Mission: Non-Plot Log

=/\= Highclere Castle, Yorkshire =/\=

He rematerialized just outside the front door, considering it rude to beam straight into the house. Even though he'd been invited, and he was expected, Patrick still had old-fashioned manners about knocking on the door. It stemmed back to the view that even when invited, it gave the person inside the option to pretend they weren't home. To some degree, Patrick was hoping that they weren't home, so he didn't have to face Kassi.

He rang the bell, and waited as the Footman opened the door, and the Butler met him in the hallway, announcing his arrival.

"Uncle Patrick!" Panda shouted, and ran down the stairs, Sarah just behind her, as they both ran over to give their Godfather a hug. Patrick dropped his duffle and opened his arms as both girls flew into him and hugged him, and he hugged them back. "My girls." He grinned.

"Well, I see you finally made it." Sharpe growled from the doorway to the library, and grinned as he walked over and after the girls released their uncle, the two men embraced themselves in a man hug. "Its good to see you, Patrick."

"You too Richard." Patrick smiled. "I've been kept pretty busy, but its nice to come back home."

"You're always welcome here, you know that." Richard smirked. "Although..."

Her lower lip nipped upon as she hesitantly made her way into the room and paused inside the doorway. She'd been pondering sneaking out the back way and disappearing, after all it would likely save both her and Patrick the heartache of seeing each other again. But, something had stopped her. Likely the words Richard had said about her being chicken, or was it the admittance that Patrick had made mistakes also. Either way, her grip tightened on the handle of that cane as she looked at Patrick and took some slow deep breaths, willing herself to keep control over her emotions she spoke softly. "Hi..."

Patrick was stunned to see her. He'd always been captivated by her beauty, her sultry smile, the way she wore her hair down, the sparkle in her eyes... he'd forgotten the pain she envoked in him, until now. He hadn't appreciated that he'd actually feel physical pain in his heart at the sight of the woman he'd loved with all his being. "Hi..." Was all he could manage back.

"I think we'll leave Uncle Patrick and Aunt Kassi to talk, don't you girls?" Richard said to his girls, in the form of a rhetorical question. "Come on, lets go take the horses for a ride through the fields." And with that, Richard, Sarah and Panda left the great hall, leaving Kassi and Patrick alone.

Kassi shifted slightly as the thought of killing Richard later for leaving them alone ran though her mind. She couldn't do this, she couldn't face Patrick... the pain and memories of what they had came flooding back. Part of her just wanted to run up to him, to beg him to forgive her for being so stupid and to see if they could try to get over it, and try again. Yet, another part of her knew that it would do any good, that they both needed to come to terms and move on.

"I umm... are you umm... hungry?" He had come for lunch after all, though she wasn't even sure if it was ready.

"I am reasonably hungry." He replied, not sure what else to say. He'd been here before, so he knew that when lunch was ready, they'd be called into the dining room by the butler.

He was feeling a tad awkward being left alone with Kassi. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms, and kiss her so much that their problems would go away. This was also in concurrent with the need to avoid her entirely, in case she hurt him again. "So... uh... how've you been?"

Now just to will the blasted butler to come and tell them lunch was ready? "I'm... fine." Yep, always the perfect answer a woman could give. One that always left people to wonder if one was truly fine, or if that was just a natural response used to cover up how just unfine one really was. "I'm a Rear Admiral now, and going to be Admiral Malone's Chief of Staff." Yep, talk about work, that was always a safe topic... never-mind the fact that he likely knew all that.

"See, I told you that you'd make Admiral." He smiled a warm and friendly smile. "You always doubted, but I knew. And Chief of Staff to Malone, well, I know why he picked you." He replied, trying not to allow that green monster inside him to take over.

"He picked me cause I know the area" She said softly with a slight shrug... After all, why else would he pick her? "You always did have more faith in me then I did in myself." She said with a soft smile as she tried to keep that cane planted right were it was. To keep herself from moving closer to him, from wrapping her arms around him and holding him as tight as she wanted him to hold her. "So... how... are you?"

"To quote the late Commander Data, I am functioning within accepted parameters." Patrick replied, cautiously. Truth be told, he'd had a very hard time coming to terms with their relationship termination, and was still not entirely sure he was over it.

"I heard that you are passing up the chance to go to the GQ with Richard." Work stuff Kassi, focus on that. She tried to remind herself, though there was a slight crack in her voice as her heart and emotions tried to break though and the words slipped out before she could stop them. "Why didn't you fight for me?" Kassi's gaze lowered a moment as she chewed on her lower lip.

"You didn't give me the opportunity to do so." Patrick replied, narrowing his eyes at her. "You left a 'Dear John' letter in our room, and made sure you were out of the room when I got home. One does not go prowling through the station demanding to see the Commodore. Especially when one is a Non-Com."

"I wasn't that far, I was with Amelia. You could have at least talked to her. As for the letter... I went about it the wrong way, I know that now. I was stupid and scared and knew if I had to face you I would want to...." do just what she wanted to do right now. She bit her lower lip hard a moment as she tried to catch her words.

"You would want to fold, and continue in a relationship you clearly didn't feel was good for you." Patrick replied, calmly, although inside he was feeling his anger and hatred at how she'd treated him rise.

She closed her eyes tightly a moment as she swallowed. "That's where you are wrong... you were the best thing to ever happen to me." Her voice quivered as she felt her tears fighting to escape blurting out things that she hadn't voiced to anyone. "They raped me, used me... in more ways then you could ever dream of. With everything that happened, I couldn't love myself... I couldn't see how anyone could love me. I thought you deserved better... I know, that wasn't my choice, it was yours to make and I took it from you. I realize all that now and if I had it to do all over again..."

"You'd still do it." Patrick replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because you still think no one has the right to love you, because you still think you're damaged, and that you should be alone. Did you stop to realise that perhaps I wanted to help you, regardless of what had happened to you? That I'd loved you unconditionally? That perhaps having me in your life would've been good for your recovery?"

"If I would have realized that back then... do you think I would have done what I did?" She looked back up to him, love still shown deep within the depths of her gaze. "And yeah, I am pretty sure I'm still damaged... I just... " If she told him she didn't want to be alone and without him, would he take it wrong? Brows furrowed some, hell she'd opened up already to him some... why not go for broke. "... I just still love you... and can't get over you." Only then did she move from the wall towards him a couple paces as she spoke softly. "I'm sorry... I can't say that enough."

"Is it enough? Just to love me?" Patrick asked, concerned. "You have to want to let someone in, to open up to them, to trust them, and allow yourself to be vulnerable to them. That is what it is to be with someone." He explained. "Are you ready for that?"

Damn, she was going to end up biting though her lower lip if she didn't stop gnawing on it. The butterfly's hit her stomach as her nerves were suddenly riled up with his questions. Was she? Was she ready to be with someone that way? She'd been opening up more and more about things, that didn't mean she wasn't scared when doing so, but she could do it with him.. yes? "Yes." She said as her gaze sought out his once more.

He moved closer to her, but there was still a gap between them that could fit another person. "Are you sure?" He asked, unsure himself if he was ready to let his heart be broken again, yet at the same time, he knew he'd do it all over again - just to be with her, to hold her in his arms, to feel her warmth, to smell her hair... he longed to touch her...

Her heart thudded within her chest as she watched him, as she realized that he... that they... She held his gaze and nodded. "I am.... I can't promise I won't have my moments. But I can promise it won't be as stupid as the last one I had with you." Her body trembled slightly with held in emotions took a step closer to him.

He closed the distance, and took her hand in his. "Then let us be together properly, Kassi. Like we both know we want to be." He smiled. "Marry me, Kassi. That way, no matter what, you can be assured that I will be with you - and you with me."

Marry him? Was she ready? She loved him, he still.. after what she'd done to him, wanted to Marry her. Her other hand left that cane, letting it drop upon the ground, as she lifted her hand to his shoulder as she felt her heart thud against her chest a moment. Stepping in, her body pressing against him as she kissed him softly, murmuring into his lips as tears shimmered in her eyes. "Yes"

He grinned a cheshire cat grin. "You realise we'll have to do it as soon as possible, before you go to the Gamma Quadrant?"

Her gaze peeked back to him as leaned against him. "I have a couple stops to make before I go, and then am supposed to be back here before we leave. Is that soon enough?" Kassi asked as she smiled warmly peeking up to him. "And you are coming with.. now.. yes?"

"Oh, if I must." He chuckled, sweeped her up in his arms and gave her a deep kiss. After a few moments, they parted and he looked at her. "You've made me extremely happy."

She returned that kiss, the racing of her heart echo'ed in her ears as she looked at him. "Not near as happy as you've made me." A hand lifted up to brush against her eyes and the tears that slipped from her. "Thank you." She said softly.

From behind them they could hear the sound of clapping. Patrick turned his head, and coming in from the dining room, Richard and the girls appeared, giving them a round of applause. "About bloody time." Richard grinned, as he walked over.

"You were there the entire time?" Patrick asked.

"Of course." Richard smiled. "Although, credit where credit is due, this was Panda's idea. My job was to get Kassi to realize she was incomplete without you, by being my obnoxious self.... apparently something I'm rather good at."

"You can say that again." Kassi muttered with a slight blush to her cheeks, for the moment forgetting just what exactly that meant they had heard. Turning to face them, she leaned back against Patrick some instead of worrying about picking up her cane quite yet. "Although I could think of a few other words to call you instead of just that."

That brought a smirk to Richard's face. "Well, it was Panda's idea to put you two together. She's a romantic, and got the idea off of some movie called "The Parent Trap". Anyway, I'm just glad it worked out for the best. Can't have my two best friends avoiding each other now, can I? Especially when Colonel Harper here will be of vital importance to my mission."

"You going senile, Richard?" Harper chuckled. "I'm not a Colonel."

Richard produced a PADD, and presented it to Patrick. "You are as of three days ago. Admiral Malone owed me a few, and I had him give special dispensation for an accelerated field commission, given that we're short of senior officers. Apparently a lot of Non-Coms are going to have that happen, so I merely asked that your name be added to the list."

Peeking back to Patrick a little she smiled and whispered. "Congrats." Though she paused and glanced to Richard. "Not that I'm complaining, or he is... yet... but wouldn't some consider that favouritism?"

"Oh, its not entirely idle favouritism on my part. Harper is better than many Generals I've had the misfortune to know, so he'll make an outstanding Colonel. I hope that alleviates any issues of rank imbalance in the relationship." Richard smirked.

"She's still an Admiral..." Patrick replied.

"Yes, but she's merely a fleet officer. Marines are far superior to mere fleeties." Richard replied, matter-of-factly.

She snorted and rolled her eyes with a wink over to Sarah and Panda. "Keep telling yourselves that. And Richard, I told you.... rank is not an issue between us." Even though the moment was light, she couldn't help the slight fleeting glare she shot at Sharpe with the mention of that part.

"Well, that's good to know. I needed another Colonel, and now I have one. Perhaps this one will be slightly easier to control than Towers." Richard sighed. "Well, I'd better leave you two to it. I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do. Come on girls, we really will go riding now I think. Give your Aunt and Uncle a big hug, then we'll leave them to their privacy."

The girls grinned, and walked over and hugged both of them. "Welcome to the family, Auntie Kassi." Panda grinned, and hugged the blonde tight.

She hugged both the girls tight and whispered to Panda. "Thanks, for everything." Then to Sarah she spoke just a little louder then a whisper, for both guys to hear. "Now to find you a Marine." Winking to them both, she ignored the looks the guys gave her for that comment and just smiled.

"You even look twice at a marine, I'll lock you in the North Tower." Richard glared at Sarah, as they left the room, leaving Harper and Kassi alone.

As they left she turned to face Patrick again, taking in his warmth and closeness, the strength that he gave her. She kissed him softly again as her body melted into him as she thought of them being married. Though just as she found the comfort of that, a nagging deep within poked at her and caused her to tense a little, she frowned and pressed her face against him and tried to push those demons aside for now.

"I need a few days to make a couple more stops while I'm on Earth." She said softly, perhaps to remind them both of that.

"Alright, I'll be staying here. I want to spend some time with the girls before I apparently ship out to the Gamma Quadrant. I guess we should discuss the wedding and where we're going to have it?"

"Guess I didn't have to resign to make it so you had the chance to go out there." She gave a motion to the couch. "Lets sit and talk about all that, though I'm fine with here and just a small one. Maybe Amelia and my folks." She said as they headed that way to talk.

"Well, given how short a time-frame we have, a small one would be all we could manage. To be honest, I don't want a massively elaborate wedding, although I'm not sure what your Bajoran customs are." He admitted, as he helped her to the couch.

Settling down, she leaned against him some as she tried to soak in all she could in case she woke up to find this was only a dream. "Can't say I've actually ever been to a Bajoran wedding. Growing up on Earth with human parents, we learned a lot more about that side of things. I mean they still taught us both sides, but... wedding stuff... not so much." Though, for some reason this talk did make her a somewhat curious now about those little things.

"Well, you're only going to get married once... I hope... so, lets make sure we do it right the first time, shall we?" Harper grinned, as they settled down to make arrangements.

=/\= End Log =/\=

Col. Patrick Harper
Gamma Quadrant Command
NPC by Frankie

&

Rear Admiral Kassi Denterius
Chief of Staff
Gamma Quadrant Command