Adm Suzanna Blokpoel - Circles

Posted on 241708.13 @ 6:01pm by Admiral Suzanna Blokpoel
Edited on on 241708.14 @ 6:40pm

Mission: Non-Plot Log
Location: SB Aurora

//// Starbase Aurora /////

It was almost strange to have her close family near her again, Suzanna mused as she returned to her office after meeting with Starfleet Command in the secure communications facility they had for fleet level comms. RAdm Roger Boren, her mate, was now based out of Aurora as a roving security advisor. Her son Darvian was on Erasmus, and his twin sister Meike was part of the Aurora Science team. Anthony, her brother was also on Aurora in the science department. And finally, their youngest son Rory, a strapping 14 year old was with them on Aurora now. He had spent two years on Vulcan, to learn basic mental control techniques that was needed being part Vulcan, part human and half Betazoid.

And she herself was now back in full swing. In fact, she had just been promoted to the role of head of Science Command. Thankfully, given her background, she had been able to successfully negotiate that she could remain based here on Aurora, instead of having to return to Earth and HQ. Upon returning to active duty after her longer LOA she had accepted the beta quadrant Science assignment which was based out of Aurora. She had many memories attached to it, and most were much better than those she had attached to HQ. The main 'bad one' had replayed itself when she had visited the station commander's ready room when she arrived here. She could have sworn that the stain on the wall was still there... from where her control had lapsed.....

Suzanna stood by the window of the dark office. A mug of tea, now cold, in her hand. Lost in thought she had no idea how long she had already been standing there. It didn't matter. She didn't care. Her eyes didn't see the twinkling stars. All she saw was Hawke's body turning into red and orange flames as he was consumed by the Great Bird of the Galaxy. All she heard was the Professor's voice. Over and over again.

"Madam! You must not allow this. We have no idea........"
"Dammit all, Madam, do something! This could kill him if he's not the annointed one.....this Hero"
'He is dead Captain... you saw it with your own eyes...'

Over and Over again. The same words. The same pictures flashed through her mind. Could she have stopped it from happening? If she had intervened.... could she have intervened? She felt responsible for what had happened. Would he have done the same if she hadn't insisted on the briefing on board the
USS Crazy Horse?

'Illogical!' her Vulcan half insisted. 'There was nothing you could have done. You know Capt Hawke well enough, to know that he is one to be bold in everything he does.'
'Starship Captains are not supposed to die!' Her human half insisted.
'It has been his boldness that gave him the edge to survive all the previous occasions when he has beaten the odds. You haven't forgotten the Romulan war and your time as his XO on the USS Valiant have you????'
'SHUT up!!!!' The silent argument continued to rage in her mind.

'DAMN YOU HAWKE!!! You weren't supposed to die!!! She spun around and threw the mug she had been holding in her hand full force away from her. It flew through the air and smashed to pieces against the wall with a loud bang. The cold tea leaving a brown stain as it poured down the wall. Suzanna blinked startled, the burst of fury had risen up so quickly and broken unexpectedly through her control, that her Vulcan half hadn't even noticed it until the mug had hit the wall. 'Oh boy,' she mumbled softly as her Vulcan half scrambled to regain the upper hand.

Shaking her head slightly, she finally saw the stars twinkling. She had come full circle, and events today had underlined the fact, which she had tried, rather illogically, to ignore. Her own mortality. She had jumped dimensions. And survived. The USS Crazy Horse had been the ship that had come to the aide of the heavily damaged Cortez after the dimensional jump. Their own Captain had died in the accident that had brought them here and Hawke, still a LtCmdr at the time, had been assigned as their CO. She had fought in the Romulan war as Cmdr Hawke's XO on the USS Valiant, against the most impossible odds. And survived. She had been assigned CO of the USS Cortez during the Insurrection... an Insurrection discovered by Capt Hawke. They had fought for the honour and oath of Starfleet. And survived. She had been assigned as CO of the USS Erasmus, thrown into a different galaxy through a subspace rift. And she had survived. More than survived even. Unlike the dimensional jump, this time they had been able to find a way home. She had been assigned as Subfleet Commander.... and today during a simple briefing on the USS Crazy Horse of all ships. The ship that had come to the Cortez's aide those years ago. Her first CO Capt Hawke in the UCIP, on the USS Cortez died in front of her eyes. Consumed by the Great Bird of the Galaxy, and nothing was left of him.

Suzanna nearly dropped the mug of tea she was holding as she returned to the here and now.... the memory remained as powerful as it had been then all those years ago in the moment. As it had been when it had replayed itself in the station commander's office three years ago. It was strange, since at the end of the Romulan Klingon war, when she had still been Starfleet Commander, she had seen a Romulan intel report that indicated that the Great Bird of the Galaxy had somehow spared him and he had returned as tr'Hawke.... he had been half Romulan anyway. Yet, given all that happened, there was no way to confirm that report, but it somehow gave her peace of mind... and why she was able to live with this memory. All things go full circle.

Just as now it was shown again... since the end of the Romulan Klingon war and stepping down from Starfleet commander within a year of that... nearly 25 years later, here she was.... indirectly commanding her first ship the Erasmus, operating out of SB Aurora, which had been her first Starbase command, and back as head of Science Command, the position she had moved to after stepping down from Starfleet Commander.....