JL | Lt Hawk & RAdm Hawk | Bloodlines

Posted on 241712.29 @ 7:46pm by Rear Admiral Indi Hawk

Mission: Reconciliation & Reconstruction [Fleet Plot]

=/\= VIP Quarters, CST =/\=

As it was custom when a high ranking officer visited your command, you saw to it that they were quartered nicely. And so, even despite the numerous Admirals aboard Cold Station Theta at that time, all Admiral guests still found themselves assigned VIP quarters. It hadn't been Indi's request or even desire. Whenever she was down on a planet, she was used to a house, yes. Whenever out in space, she couldn't care less about the size of the accomodations.

Now, she was going between pacing the length of the quarters, admonishing herself for doing as much, sitting down, getting restless, and starting all over again. Not really becoming for an Admiral in Starfleet. Then again, one could argue she wasn't exactly being an Admiral right then. More a mother. A mother who was about to be reunited with a son she hadn't seen in far too many years. A mother who was about to meet a Starfleet officer. A man who had been just a boy the last time she'd seen him. It unnerved her somewhere deep within.

She'd sent out a request to Michael to meet him in her quarters. She couldn't bear being one of those family members who were waiting right there when the airlock recycled or in the main transporter rooms where everybody crowded around every transportation cycle. So instead, when the Vindicator had been on final approach - with most likely Michael piloting her - she'd sent him a message, requesting him to join her in her quarters as soon as he could get away.

Michael had seen his mother's message when the ship's docking had been completed and control had been turned over to CST. His mind was still reeling. It was a wonder that he'd been able to pilot the ship as well as he had. Once they'd returned to their time - not even that long ago, but for the life of it, he couldn't remember now how long it had been - he'd received a message that his mother was waiting for him on CST. His mother? He hadn't seen her in years, and now suddenly she was waiting for him?! The LCARS restored, he had made some inquiries. She'd returned indeed, been reinstated as Admiral in Alpha Quadrant. All of this had apparently happened while they were galloping around 15.000 years in the past. How could she be back? Where had she been? Why hadn't she contacted him before?

He'd locked himself in his quarters, hadn't wanted to see anyone. He'd only come out to fly his shifts, and even then, he'd ignored everything that wasn't a direct order at his address. Ra'lin had come over and requested entrance, but he'd ignored her. The same had happened with Ivanova probably. Unwilling to face the first, and uncaring to meet the second. If it was duty related, she'd find him on the Bridge. Too many questions needing an answer. No people aboard who could provide the answers. The only woman who could, had now sent him a message to meet her.

Eventually, he'd gathered enough courage and made his way over to CST. The arrival dock was almost void of people now. Most families had been reunited, or soldiers without family had taken off together. The VIP Quarters weren't hard to locate. He loathed it though. They left him to think that his mother was dead, while they'd put her up in the most fancy quarters this station had to offer. Taking a deep breath, and tugging down his uniform jacket, he finally rang the chime.

Indi closed her eyes for a moment before climbing to her feet and heading over to trigger the door mechanism. Being in her uniform herself, no passer by would ever think twice about it. A redshirt Lieutenant running an errand to a redshirt Rear Admiral. The truth was far from that. When the door obediently slid open, they could look at each other for the first time in years.

She marveled at the man in front of her. He was rather good looking. His shoulders had gotten broad and firm. Her old Security self made the approving comment that he'd be a tough opponent.

He stared at the woman in front of him. It wasn't the fierce woman he remembered. There were shades around her eyes that he'd never seen, her shoulders had sagged just a bit and there was a crease in her forehead that betrayed the years which had passed.

"Please, come in," Indi gestured when the first moment had come and gone. Some of the magic had left the air. But she couldn't quite define what was left. Guilt? Anger? Incomprehension? It was hard to define which feeling belonged to whom.

Michael looked at his mother intently, searching for something. For what? Recognition? By whom? By him? Or by his mother? It didn't come, so instead he walked past her, to well inside the enormous quarters. He wasn't sure where to go, wasn't sure he wanted to sit down. So instead, he just turned around halfway, level with the dinner table.

Indi felt like she was grasping at straws. She wasn't good at this. Had never been good at it. Now that the doors had closed, she wanted to run and hug him. But his attitude held her back. She couldn't blame him. He'd been abandoned by his mother years ago, without so much as a note to explain anything. It had made sense back then. It had made sense to start her undercover assignment without so much as a backward glance. Who would have thought it would last so many years? Who could have known she'd miss out on so many years? "We could sit down?" she offered, waving at the dinner table. It didn't feel right to sit on the couch. As he made his move to comply with her suggestion, she sat down opposite him. "Do you, eh, want something to drink?" she asked, jumping once again to her feet. A few moments later, she returned with two cokes and set them down in front of them. "Thank you for coming."

All the while, Michael had kept a close eye on the Admiral flailing about. He realised full well that he hadn't said a word yet. It didn't feel necessary. His eyes never left her as she sat down, jumped up again, and returned moments later. She very much had the look of a caged animal. He hardly recognized her. Who had changed most? Him? Or her? Or both? If both had changed beyond recognition, perhaps coming here had been a mistake. Too late for that now, he was here, and he had to make the best of it. "You ordered me to, Admiral," he finally replied.

Oh no. Not that again. Years ago, when he was just in his preteens, he'd used that line whenever she had him do something he really didn't feel like. He easily slipped into the routine of carrying out an officer's order, rather than listening to his mother. Now though, it made somewhat more sense. After all, he was a Lieutenant, having been asked by an Admiral to come see her. She hadn't worded it officer-like though. This was entirely his doing. His coping with the entire situation, most likely.

"Michael..." she spoke softly, let out a small sigh. "You didn't have to come if you don't want to."

He reached for his coke and took a careful sip. Meanwhile, he kept looking at his mother over the rim of his glass. "I'm here now. Why did you want to see me?"

"Why...?" Indi repeated, trailed off. Why would she want to see him? Did he really just ask why a mother would want to see her son? Apparently, he did. How do you respond to a question like that? "I..." she stammered, shrugged. "We haven't seen each other in years. Of course I want to see you. You're my son."

"And what's the cause of all those years? Huh?" Michael spat quickly. Too quickly. He regretted it the moment the words had left his lips. Or did he? It was the truth after all. She'd abandoned him to fence for himself. To make a life for himself. He'd done a pretty good job at it, too. Who was she to come back into his life now and start dictating things?

Indi sat speechless. She was gaping almost open mouthed at her son. He was right, of course. If she hadn't gone undercover, none of this would have happened. Then again, she'd read the debriefing reports that his CO had sent ahead. The crew had had a rough time on that planet. She had to wonder if it was really her he was obviously upset about, or if the mission was still on his mind.

Following up on those train of thoughts, she put down her coke as she looked back up at him. "How did the mission go?"

Michael recognized the trick to change the subject. She'd abandoned him, and instead of trying to give an explanation, one who deserved, she changed the subject right back onto him. He didn't want to play. It had been a waste of time to come here. "We saved most of the locals, it was a success," he finally replied tightly.

What had she expected? More than this probably. What could she have expected? Probably just about this. She wasn't sure it made any sense to keep him here any longer. This wasn't her son. This was a Lieutenant having been ordered to report. How could she break through that? Move past it? She had no idea. "Can you stay for dinner?"

"I have to be back on the ship in an hour. I need to debrief my department."

She heard the lie before it had been spoken out loud. He wouldn't have come here if he still had to debrief his department. She'd taught him that well, at least. Business before pleasure. Debriefing before disembarking. Indi wasn't sure she shouldn't just give him this out. If he didn't want to be here, who was she to make him stay. 'His mother', a small voice in the back of her mind kept nagging. Well, apparently not to her. "We'll be here for a while longer. Let me know when you're free for dinner?"

Finishing his coke, Michael rose to his feet and nodded curtly. "I will. Permission to leave, Admiral?"

The choice of his words hurt her more than any others he could have chosen. "Of course," she choked. As he walked out, and the door closed behind him, she picked up one of the empty glasses and threw it against the viewport where it scattered into a thousand pieces. Damn it all.

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by Michael & Indi Hawk