Joint Personal Log | Richard Sharpe & Kassi Denterius | "Demons visit also"

Posted on 241411.08 @ 1:40am by Rear Admiral Kassandra Harper & General Richard Sharpe

Mission: Insurrection [Fleet Plot]

=/\= Highclere Castle, Yorkshire =/\=

They proceeded through the lush landscape, as summer surrendered to autumn. The leaves were brown and red, falling like a blanket over the ground. The air was crisp with a sharp chill, and there was a slight fog to the air. The only sound that could be heard was the slight whirr that the electric engine of the old-style electric buggy that Sharpe and Denterius were riding in. It was what used to be called a Golf Cart, with a plexi-glass wind-shield and a canopy roof.

It was 0800, and as they drove down the gravel path that criss-crossed the sprawling three-hundred acre estate. A flock of sheep were disturbed by the arrival of the cart, baahed as they were dispersed from where they'd been grazing and moved off to a new grazing site.

Kassi was quiet as she rode along, taking in the sights and beauty of the area. Being out in space, one tends to forget what nature truly offered... for all seasons. More often than not, people used the holodecks for a nice summer get away or things like that. Rarely did she remember hearing people talk about hour they took skiing down a snowy winter slope, or curling up by a fire while drinking hot chocolate on a crisp cold evening. A subtle frown crossed her features as she pondered those things, and wondered how Sharpe could handle being away from this place for so long. Then again, could she stay away from space for long periods of time?

"This whole area belongs to the estate, you see." Sharpe was explaining. "Under the proviso that the land be allowed to retain its natural beauty, and not be developed. I agreed to that condition when I purchased the estate, and I did so enthusiastically. I think there's nothing more stunning than the English countryside. Children should experience it in their lives, to know what it is they're part of. The forests around here have been here for centuries, and are maintained by a team of highly trained arborists."

He stopped the cart and pointed at the lands beyond the treeline. "That is natural farmland, that produces all natural produce, that we buy here at the house. All that we eat is grown locally, and cooked by the staff. Very little is replicated, except for the more exotic items that can't be farmed. But our meat is all natural, and carefully farmed to be sustainable, and not be cruel to the animals."

She'd been listening to him, taking in the history of the land and his estate with interest. Though, in a way it raised more questions for her. "I can see why you wanted to retire..." She said softly as her gaze roamed over it all. "Surprised that Sarah took to Starfleet and was willing to be away from this all." She said with only a fleeting look to him before she watched the sheep gather again a farther away from were they had been grazing.

"This was a recent acquisition on my part." Sharpe admitted. "With my career, I've not been on Earth much. When I was posted to HQMC, I purchased this place, and then I was sent to Zetari to lead the Theatre.... well... you know the rest. Most of my life I've been in space, so its nice to come back to Earth and see what you've been fighting for all these years."

She nodded slowly as she looked around. "Never thought of it that way, thought I can see your point. One tends to forget the little things when out there." Forget the little things, and remember the big one's.... she thought, but didn't say the last part.

"Look around you Kassi, and remember why we do what we do. Why we endure what we suffer. Why we keep going, no matter what, because it is for this reason that we struggle so." Sharpe said, suddenly aware he was waxing philosophy.

A slight smirk touched her features as she looked over to Sharpe. "When did you take up counselling?" She asked as she smiled. "I think in a way, this is why I decided to run away from everything when Malone said I had three weeks." Her gaze drifted around again. "To try and remember the good things."

"Well, you didn't run away from everything. You ran to me, which is a bit interesting." He observed.

"Yes well, when I can figure out that one... I'll let you know." She said with a little blush and shake of her head. She had yet to figure out why she'd came to him. "Maybe I figured if we are going to be working in close contact again, it would be good to make sure we patched everything up?" Sounded good to her.... though she didn't think that was the reason either.

"That seems somewhat superficial to me, Admiral." Sharpe said, as he pulled the cart to a stop beside a very large oak tree. "Almost as if this were a professional visit, not a personal one, which I find very hard to believe. You could've attempted to mend fences once we were aboard the Ticonderoga, where I had no avenue of escape or control of that situation. Here, that is quite the reverse."

"Yes, I suppose you're right... but then..." She paused and looked at him as they stopped. "Why, oh wise one... do you think I showed up here?" She asked curiously.

Richard looked at her for a moment, pondering. "You're trying to process some new information that you don't want to process, and you're looking for someone to provide you with the stability you need to help you process it. With Zetari gone, and your crew scattered to the four winds, you have no safe place in which to sit down and focus with comfort and clarity. So you're seeking familiar faces to find psychological comfort... and oh my god... I sound like a bloody counsellor." He grimaced. "See what you've done to me, you evil woman?"

Kassi tried not to laugh as she spoke. "Well, if for whatever reason you find you can't hack it as a Marine, I'm sure you could sub as a counselor." Only then did she laugh as she thought of that before giving a little shake of her head. "I have Andrus for my head work, he's managed to stick it out as I drag him all around. Well... maybe..." She added, having not had the chance to ask him about this last assignment.

"Well, be that as it may, I suspect I have a point. Malone gave you the intel on Korma, didn't he?" Sharpe asked.

That brought back that serious look to her face with a furrow of brows as she looked to him and nipped on her lower lip a little. The thought of that PaDD tucked in the safety of her bag seemed to eat at her more than she wanted to admit, yet she hadn't been able to bring herself to read it yet. Likely it was the biggest reason she'd left before really talking to Hagen.

"mmm... I thought he might. That explains why you're here more than anything. You're seeking something I can't provide you, Kassi. I can't give you the answers you're looking for. They have to come from within. I don't know what that intel was, I just know it exists, but whatever it is - if Malone felt it necessary to share it with you, it is important that you know."

"I haven't read it yet..." She said softly before looking away from him with a soft sigh. "Call me chicken. But I'm still trying to deal with everything that happened back then, not sure I'm ready for more."

"I don't know what it is, but I can guess, and I worry that knowing it might make things worse for you in the short-term, but better in the long-term." Sharpe sighed. "In any case, the longer you put it off, the more it'll eat at you."

"I need to talk to Andrus sometime in the near future, and as Malone brought him up with the info. I guess I'll think about taking a look at it when I see him." She said softly, though Sharpe hadn't helped her thoughts when it came to wondering what was in that information she'd been given. Peeking back over to Richard she murmured softly. "Maybe... if for whatever reason, he doesn't want to take the assignment with me, I'll talk to Malone about you being my counselor." She teased him a little.

"Oh, as if you're not fucked up in the head enough, you want me to work on it?" He shot back, chuckling. "That's a guaranteed way to end up in a padded room rocking yourself to sleep on the floor." He put his foot on the carts accelerator pedal to start it moving back along the path.

That brought a laugh back from her again as she looked back to him and smiled. "The thought of you picking my brain does do at least one good thing for me.... it makes me laugh." That, being something she didn't do a lot and found she missed it at times.

"Could be worse, you could ask Towers to be your counsellor." Richard teased.

"He'd just shoot me and get it over with." She chuckled. "I'm somewhat amazed he hasn't done that yet."

"The day is still young, Admiral." Sharpe teased.

"You know, one might wonder about the choice of people I seem to hang out with... trigger happy Colonel, an arrogant General, in-depth betazoid... And somewhere in there is Mel." Kassi paused a moment as she thought of one of the few female friends she had, and how that one became her best friend.

"One might conclude that you have piss poor taste, Kassi." Richard replied, as they headed back towards the house.

"That they could... maybe I'll have to see if I can talk Amelia into joining us again out there." Kassi said as she wondered just how insane they would all drive Malone.

"Don't you think Malone has suffered enough? He's already lost his job, don't compound it by driving the man insane." Richard replied.

"Perhaps you have a point, I already asked him to let me bring one person onboard with us. And he's going to have his hands full enough with you and Towers." Yep, cause she was the sweet innocent one.

"Me? I'm a darling." Sharpe chuckled. "Besides, he made damn sure I came with him. I was happy to retire here and leave everyone alone, but nooo... he had to drag my ass to the other side of the damn universe with him."

"So we get dragged along with him and we drag others with us. And I still can't believe you hinted to him about... what we did." She eyed him and muttered. "Not everyone in the universe needs to know you know."

"I merely pointed out that it was the only effective method I knew on how to control you." He teased her, smirking at her facial expression. "Besides, how often do I get to gross out a Fleet Admiral?"

"I suppose it would have been worth it to see his face when you said that. Not that he likely had any questions of what you meant, but if he did I'm sure my expression cleared any questions up for him." Kassi replied with a deep blush to her cheeks. "That method won't work any more though." She said softly.

"You mean getting you drunk?" Richard asked. "I'd rather not resort to such underhanded tactics. In any case, I value you as a friend Kassi, and I am in a relationship with someone - even if I don't see much of her anymore."

"Drinking is good, it's what comes after it that isn't anymore." She said with a shrug. "I'm glad for you... you should drag her along with you to out there. Anyways, I'm not here for a relationship, they don't work for me." Her gaze drifted off towards the treeline as they headed back, her mind drifting off as she asked in almost a whisper. "Is he doing alright?"

"Who?"

Did she really want to know? Had he moved on? In a way she hoped he had, yet... the slightly selfish part of her hoped that he hadn't. Did she even have any right to ask about him, after the way she'd hurt him. "Nevermind..." She said softly before taking a deep breath. "So, who is the lucky woman?"

"Colonel Dare Shao." Richard answered. "She and I have an... understanding. Plus, the girls really have taken to her. She kind of does her own thing, so its hard to know when she's around. But when she's with us... well... lets just say she makes the waiting worth while."

She glanced over to him fleetingly before muttering with a slight blush, not really expecting the idea of Richard and another women in bed together to poke at her. "Alright, that was a little too much info."

Richard chuckled. "You are such a prude."

"You didn't think so when we...." She snapped a little, her mood having shifted from that relaxed one to one she couldn't discribe as she looked towards the castle.

"Am I detecting a hint of jealousy, Admiral?" Sharpe asked her, teasingly. "Funny. I thought you loved Patrick, at least, that's what you told me."

He may have been teasing, but his words hit to close to home for her to stop the rush of emotions. On a good note, she was smart enough to know she couldn't jump out of the moving cart. On a bad one though.. it was the cart that got it as she trusted suddenly within her seat and before Richard could realize what she was doing, she killed the engine. "I do love him! That's why I had to do what I did!" She snapped as she glared at him, that fire dark within her eyes.

"You have a damn funny way of showing it, Kassandra." Richard said, darkly. "You not only broke his heart, but you tore it out and stomped on it. You made a decision for you, not for the both of you, and don't try to pretend otherwise."

"I made a decision that I thought was best for both of us. We both know I don't always make the best of decisions like that." Her voice was catching as she fought not to burst into tears in front of him. "Do you really think he's the only one I hurt by that choice? Do you really think that choice isn't killing me?" Kassi asked as she worked to get out of the cart, she needed to walk, to try and calm down and regain control of herself, of those held in pains.

"What astounds me is that you made that decision for the both of you, without even consulting him, or having the nerve to tell him yourself. You just left a PADD. That's cowardice right there, Denterius, and that's how I see what you did. An act of pure cowardice. Or was it because he was merely an Enlisted man, and you didn't owe him the decency of a face-to-face?" Richard challenged her. "And in answer to your question, Patrick is fine, but because you're going to be part of the Gamma Quadrant mission, he won't come with me."

She didn't hear him right, she couldn't had... he wouldn't had gone there. But he had... her blood boiled with anger as she turned and looked at him hard. Her gaze filled with dark emotions that seemed to spark though the haunting look that seemed to linger there more often than not anymore. If she'd been closer she likely would have belted him a good one, but the cart was in the way.

"I... NEVER... looked at his rank or cared what it was. He was NOT just a bloody Enlisted man to me, he was a friend, a companion, someone I gave my heart too, he was the reason I lived though everything that I went though!!! How DARE you suggest that it was his rank that stopped me from breaking up with him face to face!!" She was shaking now, paling slightly as she went off on him. "I was a coward, still am, that's why I haven't been able to let myself get close to anyone else since then, that's why I've tried shoving my friends away! I thought I did the right thing by breaking up with him, it wasn't fair to him to be stuck with someone broken as bad as I am!" Her voice was starting to crack as tears somehow escaped from her.

"Before you condemn me for everything though, let me ask you this. If you loved a woman and just watched them go though something like I did, and suddenly they do something stupid. Would you have just walked away, or would you have fought for the one you loved, for the one you were about to give everything up for? Would you have not taken a moment to confront her and talk to her... to fight for her..?"

Shaking her head a little, she turned and started to walk away... her loneliness and demons seeming determined to hold on tight to her.

"Kassi..." Richard said, trying to call her back. When that didn't work, he snapped into marine mode. "ADMIRAL DENTERIUS, STAND FAST!" He bellowed in his most authoritative voice that made even grizzled Gunnery Sergeants freeze in their tracks.

If he thought she was going to stop just because he wanted her to just because he called her name, he had another thing comming. That was till the order came, and she faltered in her step as the training that was ingrained into her kicked in... Though she wasn't a Marine who could stop on a dime and snap to attention, it at least got her to stop.

He walked over to her. "My apologies, Admiral." He said. "What happens between you and Patrick is none of my damn business. However, Harper has been my best friend for over forty years, whereas in comparison, I barely know you. You will forgive me for being protective of my best friend."

"So that's how it is? Your going to order me to forgive you?" She asked though clinched teeth as she glared at him.

"I don't believe I ordered you to forgive me." Sharpe frowned at her.

Kassi was quiet for a moment as she wondered when this outing went so wrong. Closing her eyes she took some slow deep breaths as she decided this was why she was growing not to like R&R crap, she couldn't stay focused on things and her demons decided to pop up. Was she trying to push Richard away? Was the thought of working with him again scaring her that much? Dammit... she needed... something...

"Drop the rank, we are off duty... please." She said softly before opening her eyes to stare at the grass a moment. "I know what it's like to be protective of a friend... hell, I had a woman transferred off my Station in order to protect Mel." She shrugged a little, having not even told Amelia that was why the woman was gone, before peeking to him shyly. "Yeah, I was stupid, scared... a coward. I didn't want to let him go, but.... "

"But you did anyway." Sharpe finished the sentence. "In a way that hurt the both of you, and in a way that didn't lend itself to cauterizing the wound either. You're both still raw and in pain from it, even now."

"The last time I talked to him he accepted my apology..." She said as her gaze lowered again as she remembered that talk. It was a lifetime ago it seemed. She hadn't really been ready to talk to him then... was she now? She had to think on that one. Peeking back up to him she asked softly. "Will you?"

"One has yet to be offered." He replied, matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry for hurting him... and you. I'm not going to ask that you forgive me... just that.. you accept my apology." Kassi asked softly, yet there was that firmness there that made clear she was being honest with her words and it wasn't just her emotions asking.

"I accept your apology. You made a decision that you felt were for the right reasons at that time. The fact that I disagree with those reasons doesn't, in my view, undermine that at that moment in time - you felt it was the only way." Sharpe replied, and took her hands in his, and held them up. "I'll always be your friend, Kassi. I want you to feel that you can rely on me, even when I'm annoyed with you."

Fingers curled to his hands as she looked at him and a soft smile touched her lips. "Thank you." Kassi said softly. "And that's good to know... I tend to annoy you often it seems."

"Well, you seem naturally predisposed towards annoying people." Richard sighed, and gave her hands a friendly kiss as he released them. "Now, shall we go in and have a nice hot drink?"

"As long as it doesn't have scotch in it." She said with a soft blush as she glanced back to the cart, still feeling the softness of his lips lingering on her hands.

"I think having scotch before midday would be a social taboo, and my butler might try to beat me to death with a silver serving tray." Sharpe chuckled. "He's a very proper Englishman."

She chuckled softly and nodded. "Err.. Sorry about my... mood swings." Kassi said as she nibbled on her lower lip some.

"When one raises girls, Kassi, one gets used to mood swings." Richard pointed out. "Sarah was quite a nightmare as a teenage girl, I promise you that."

Climbing back into the cart she couldn't help but to smirk a little as she looked at him. "All teenage girls are nightmares. But we get worse as we get older and go though things in life." The last past trailed off some as her mind drifted off a moment as fingers softly brushed against the top of her left hand. "One can still be jealous even when having feelings for another. Though I doubt very much you have the reason why I was jealous wrong..."

"Even when you and I do not have a romantic relationship, nor do we want to have one with each other?" Richard asked, wondering where the hell this conversation had come from. He was far from comfortable with this topic.

Well wasn't she just somewhat talkitive today Kassi thought to herself as she looked over to Richard again. She wasn't overly sure if this was a good or bad thing. "One can be jealous of another for other reasons than just relationship ones."

"Well, that bears more explanation, but I'd like to do that indoors." Sharpe chuckled.

"Well you're the one driving so slow." She said with a smirk, though in reality.. was she really sure she wanted to tell him why she was jealous? Was she ready to open up that can of worms with him? With anyone? Brows furrowed a moment as a soft sigh left her.

They headed back to the mansion, and once they handed the cart over to one of the footmen, went inside to have tea.



Gen. Richard Sharpe
CO, 1st MEF
Gamma Quadrant Command

&

Rear Admiral Kassi Denterius
Chief of Staff
Gamma Quadrant Command